Ah, Tinder, you’ve done it again: you have allowed me to be a part of something I otherwise would not have been so fortunate to witness.
About a month ago I swiped right on a profile, let’s call him M. He looked fun and happy… It was his bio however, that did me in: he said he was from Lichtenstein and explained what and where that is and that he resembled a Viking (!).
I swiped right.
I started what turned into a lively and fun conversation with, “I have been to Lichtenstein!”
I learned that he is travelling the globe, at the time he was in Belgium, deciding between Portugal or Toronto as his next stop, though it looked like both.
He was happy to know I lived in the latter.
Fast forward to a few days later when I received this message:
I thought it was kinda lame. But then I thought: he’s backpacking. He’s on the road and Tinder is a great networking resource. So I made a small suggestion and told him if I hear of anything I’d let him know.
Two weeks later I messaged him. His answers were clipped. I took the hint. No harm no foul.
It wasn’t until a week and a half later that things got real entertaining. I woke up to 63 unread WhatsApp messages from a group named ‘Alle’— which incidentally is another word for ‘All’. I immediately thought it was spam, however, after a little investigating (and seeing his face as the group’s icon) I learned that M himself had created the group.
Scrolling through I saw a shit-ton of international numbers; a bunch of 416’s and 647’s. Maybe he really was planning on coming to Toronto and was actively getting his Toronto ducks all in a row.
The truth comes out
It soon came out that M had added 256 women to this group. The girls got angry. “Psychopath” was thrown around.
But the question remained, why did he create this group?
There were a few additional theories:
He did not join the group.
The confusion subsided. The women questioned his looks. And began sharing pics of themselves. These United Women be gorgeous and the Collective said as much.
While all of this craziness was unfolding, women were contributing to the now titled “M united women” group what they were learning from M himself.
The jig was evidently up. Though if M was remorseful, it seemed to be due to his upcoming planned “trips” being affected by his blunder. #selfish
The group’s icon got changed to the female empowering:
We were further enlightened with the following:
And my favourite giggle-inducing, universal reference-of-good-looks message:
I wasn’t too bothered by his actions. I found myself amused… as did a lot of the women on this group—it was so fascinating seeing this thing unfold. It made sense to me that as a traveller you would ‘collect’ people of interest, and when you visited that country you could arrange to meet up. However, 250+ women? That’s a lot of ‘collecting’ and a touch excessive. It wasn’t until this gem that I changed my tune, a United Woman contributed her correspondence:
What a winner.
What we learned
The women shared screenshots of, if not identical, similar messages of their conversations with M. My message of looking for a place was one of them. It seemed to be the consensus if we didn’t offer our homes, he lost interest(!).
M’s choice of women at least is top notch. We’re talking all ethnicities, nationalities, and backgrounds. Single mums. 20-year-olds, 30-year-olds. Women from Suriname, Romania, Canada, Columbia, Kenya, Belgium, etc.
I came into the office all giggly and ready to share the goings-on of my morning.
Gather around colleagues, and let me tell you the tale of M and his 256 Tinder women.
Over the course of the morning, the feel of the group changed. First, there was confusion, then frustration towards M and the opposite sex, but then it shifted. The women shared parts of their lives, the frustrations of dating—the girls leaned on one another—questioned if this is an isolated occurrence, or if this is happening with more men they’re speaking with; they sought advice and counsel. It turned from some idiot’s mistake, into something beautiful: a group of women supporting one another. M truly united us women.
Be kind to your fellow human and always wear your (invisible) crown.