Single in the 6ix: breaking up is hard to do

Bridge breaking up

Leave it to date number three to be the tell all: do we continue dating or do we not

We do not.

Though I feel dating is the pits for the most part, there are elements to it that are rather fun and exciting (this of course relies on your date being someone you have a modicum of chemistry with).

POAGN was a great human being and the dates themselves were super fun (hello Hanlan’s Point, hello modicum of chemistry), but by date three I had a better sense of the kind of relationship we were developing. I learned that much more of him, and him of me, and well, it just wasn’t (meant) to be. And that’s okay. What’s not okay are all those icky feelings I feel when I have to end it, or the it is being ended with me. EVEN THOUGH, I do not have interest in pursuing the relationship further. Fear of rejection much?

Having only gone on three dates, never having spoken on the phone, I felt a text was best. I’m anti ghosting (though it’s just so damn easy and convenient), but it’s an unclear, unfair, disingenuous way to live life and quite frankly, I want to live the most authentic life, so I texted. Honestly, it’s just better to be honest.

My text was upbeat and to the point. His text back reflected the same.

Done.

Though I did experience my all-too-familiar feelings of pre-break up angst, it was not as sharp nor as bitter as it has been in the past. This makes me happy. #personalgrowth

I did come across a helpful webpage on some ending a relationship texting options, I may have Googled prior to crafting my own text. I appreciate the articles anti-ghosting sentiments. I also appreciate the confirmation I felt from reading said article that it was in fact, okay for me to use text as a breaking up medium.

Now that I’m free and not bogged down with the squirrely feelings of having to end something, I have done a little reflecting. Dating, yes, can be the pits as previously mentioned above. I’m often complaining about it to those who’ll listen. POAGN though, reminded me just how fun dating can be, because, you see, I had forgotten.

Opening up is easy for me. I like connecting with people; I genuinely like people. I like figuring them out and learning about them too. I am also a woman of novelty. I like having new experiences, trying new things: new exhibits, movies, restaurants, plays, etc., etc. So, dating can be quite pleasurable because there’s just so damn much to potentially experience.

And so my friends, POAGN was just that. He offered up new experiences on a beach of sand of which I wholeheartedly accepted. In the buff.

Heart

4 Comments

  1. Henry
    September 29, 2016 / 10:08 PM

    love the photo!

  2. September 29, 2016 / 7:15 AM

    I find doing it (or having it done) by phone so much better. I have been ditched by text a few times after really lovely dates and when I’ve done it myself I’ve called them. I feel much better explaining and showing that actually it’s just as difficult for me as it is for them.

    • September 29, 2016 / 7:58 AM

      A gentleman and a scholar. It’s true, text is a little cold, and my feelings aren’t entirely evident through the medium. It’s nice to know there are integrous, caring people out in the world!

      • September 29, 2016 / 6:17 PM

        Well I try to do what I would like if the shoe were on the other foot. What I hate is not to know the reason. I’d rather someone was honest. If someone is too hard to read etc. I try to be honest with them about it. Then I think it might be something they could work on if they feel they want to. We are none of us perfect, but if something we do puts people off, how can we change it if no one ever tells us the truth! 🙂

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